Fathers4Equality Blog - Father Matters, child custody, fathers rights, shared parenting, divorce

Woman jailed 11 years for killing husband over alleged kinky sex demands

Web Editor — Fri, 22 Apr 2011 16:25:16 +1100

A Victorian woman accused of murdering her husband after he made demands for kinky sex says she can't explain why she killed him.

Eileen Creamer said "things got out of control" on the weekend in February 2008 when she stabbed her husband David in the abdomen and beat him savagely at their home in Moe.

She told Justice Paul Coghlan of the Victorian Supreme Court jury that: "I couldn't believe I had done something like that."

Creamer does not deny killing her husband, but says she did not commit murder.

Giving evidence at her murder trial, Creamer alleged that in the previous year when they were living apart, her husband came into her house and raped her, although there was little evidence to substantiate her claim of rape.

Creamer further claimed that her husband constantly talked about threesomes and tried to get her to sign up for sex parties, although she told the jury that she still had no explanation for the killing.

"I can't explain it," she said.

"Things just got out of control that weekend."

Asked why she lied to police about her husband's death during her record of interview, Creamer replied that she was "scared".

"I panicked, I didn't know what to do. I couldn't believe I had done something like that."

Creamer alleged that she had been raped the previous year. She said she was going to report the matter to police but her husband convinced her not to, alhough again there was little in evidence to support this claim.

The couple moved to New Zealand in the 1990s.

Because he was "coloured", David Creamer had not been able to mix with white women under South Africa's apartheid system, Creamer told the court.

She said her husband had enjoyed being able to mix with white women in New Zealand.

"It was just a whole new world for him," she said.

Mr Creamer had had affairs in New Zealand and later in Australia, she said.

Despite Creamer's claims however, a jury found her guilty of her husband's killing and she has been jailed for 11 years.

Eileen Mary Creamer, 53, was the first Victorian woman to be found guilty of defensive homicide.

Forensic evidence was used to highlight the ferocity of her attack on her husband, which was possibly done with a South African tribal stick, before she stabbed him repeatedly in the abdomen during a fight at their home.

A jury found her not guilty of murder, but guilty of defensive homicide.

Justice Paul Coghlan said the couple had a dysfunctional relationship.

He said Mr Creamer died after a "very substantial" beating that demonstrated Creamer was "out of control".

Justice Coghlan ordered South African-born Creamer, who is also a former New Zealand resident, serve at least seven years in prison before being eligible for parole.

She has already served nearly two years in custody.

Charlie Sheen Custody Battle: Divorce Lawyer Raoul Felder Weighs In

Hollywood News — Fri, 4 Mar 2011 22:30:08 +1100

Now that Charlie Sheen's two young sons have been temporarily removed from his home, and his ex-wife Brooke Mueller has filed a restraining order against him, the question remains--what will happen to his kids?

According to celebrity divorce lawyer Raoul Felder, Sheen's behavior over the last several weeks will play a large role in his custody battle.

"I don't think its even a question about custody," he told The Early Show's Chris Wragge Thursday morning. "I think the question is will he ever be able to be alone with his kids? That's the problem now."

Felder said that Sheen's TV appearances--in which he's exposed his unusual living situation--have only weakened his case.

"If I were representing him, I'd put him on the stand and just keep showing these things. He doesn't deny the drugs. Doesn't deny the alcohol. And he himself is exhibit A when you look at him."

However, Sheen's ex-wife Brooke Mueller is not without her share of problems--something Felder readily admits. Sheen has said he intends to make a bid for full custody of his twin sons based on Mueller's alleged cocaine use.

"Comparing the two of them, one has a handgun and the other has an atom bomb," Felder said.

Some celebrity alcoholics seek alcohol addiction treatment help, but many other famous people may not even know that they have a drinking problem.

Bob Marley’s daughter on child cruelty charge

Not Credited — Thu, 28 Oct 2010 22:11:26 +1100

KINGSTON, Jamaica, Wednesday October 27, 2010 – Sharon Marley, the daughter of late reggae legend, Bob Marley has pleaded not guilty to a charge of cruelty to a six-year-old autistic boy.

Marley, who is also a former member of the Melody Makers, entered the plea yesterday in the Family Court, a few days after she allegedly abused the child at the Total Care Learning Centre.

She will return to court on November 8th.

Police had received a complaint from the boy’s mother, who is also an employee at the centre, that last Thursday while the child was playing with a toy, Marley took him into a room. She said her son could be heard screaming and he emerged crying and with several bruises on his body.

A day later, the 46-year-old Marley surrendered to police and was released on station bail. The bail was extended when she appeared in court yesterday.

The court appearance came on the same day that her sister, 28-year-old Makeda Marley, received seven years probation for growing marijuana at her home in Pennsylvania, United States. Police had found 11 plants in the basement of her house.

A judge had given her the choice of either the long probation period or two to 23 months in prison.

During her probation period she will have to undergo random drug tests and has been ordered to stay away from drug users.

Violation of the probation would land her in a state prison for 15 to 59 months.

The younger Marley was the last of the late reggae singer’s 13 children.

http://www.caribbean360.com/index.php/news/jamaica_news/46476.html

Another mom may face child murder charge

Caryn Dolley — Thu, 28 Oct 2010 22:08:04 +1100

A Bishop Lavis mother who tried, but failed to kill herself and ended up killing her one-year-old daughter, may face a murder charge.

Tuesday’s incident brings to seven the number of cases involving children who have been abandoned or murdered, allegedly by their mothers, during this month alone.

The 32-year-old mother left suicide notes saying she was struggling financially because her daughter’s father was not supporting their only child and no one was helping her.

Police suspect she had tried to take both their lives by overdosing on pills and feeding her child other medication.

While the police continued investigating the Bishop Lavis incident on Wednesday, a 14-month-old girl allegedly poisoned by her mother in Philippi last week was buried. The girl’s eight-year-old sister, who had also been poisoned, was recovering in hospital, while their mother, 29, was in prison charged with murder and attempted murder.

Police spokeswoman Marie Louw said the incident in Bishop Lavis was on the day the one-year-old girl’s mother was supposed to have taken her to enrol in a creche.

The girl’s grandmother had left her daughter and the child at home, expecting them to go to the creche. But when she returned in the afternoon, she found her grandchild dead on the floor near her unconscious daughter.

It was not clear how long they had been there.

Louw said the police found boxes of tablets belonging to the grandmother, along with a baby bottle.

“We’ve sent the bottle for testing to see if tablets were put in the bottle. We’re also looking into whether the mother gave her daughter tablets orally,” she said.

Louw said officers found suicide notes written by the mother saying her daughter’s father was not supporting their child and she was struggling financially.

Louw said it appeared the mother had gathered all the tablets she could find in the house and had taken them.

She said according to family members it was not the first time the woman had tried to commit suicide.

After visiting her daughter in Tygerberg Hospital on Wednesday, the child’s grandmother said she was in shock.

“I’m sick in my heart. My daughter is okay but my grandchild is gone. My daughter isn’t talking to me. That was her only child,” she said in a telephone interview.

The grandmother confirmed the tablets used belonged to her. She said she was too traumatised to say anything further.

http://www.iol.co.za/news/crime-courts/another-mom-may-face-child-murder-charge-1.689501

Author of family law act dies

Not Credited — Thu, 28 Oct 2010 21:52:45 +1100

One of the authors of the family law act and a survivor of the Sydney Family Court bombings in the 1980s has died.

Justice Ray Watson, 87, was a key draftsman of the no-fault family law act introduced in 1975.

His daughter Rose Parkin says he did not resile from his big vision.

"He wanted to give people dignity and self respect and introduce a system that was far more humane," she said.

Mr Watson survived a kamikaze attack on HMAS Australia in 1944.

Forty years later, as Justice Ray Watson, he survived a bomb attack on his home which killed his wife Pearl.

The bombing was part of a series of attacks on the Family Court which killed one judge and injured two.

Ms Parkin says her father did not dwell on the perpetrators never being charged as he was not a man of vengeance.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/10/27/3050076.htm?section=justin

Read the fine print on the Greens tin

Peter Costello — Mon, 25 Oct 2010 19:08:44 +1100

It is an odd priority. When the Greens leader, Bob Brown, was asked to name his first legislative priority for the new Parliament he had no hesitation - euthanasia. Brown wants to repeal the federal statute that outlawed euthanasia in the Northern Territory. "This will restore the rights of territorians to be able to legislate for euthanasia," he told Network Ten.

I wonder if all those who voted for the Greens in August expected that? They might have thought a carbon reduction scheme was the No. 1 Green priority, or an end to logging. But it is euthanasia. Brown didn't run as the head of the euthanasia party. But that is the effect of making this his No. 1 priority.

The Greens have a funny attitude to people. They care about them, of course, but they worry there are too many of them and that this will choke the environment. They say we need a "sustainable relationship between humans and the environment", which involves a lot more birth control and a lot less use of natural resources.

The Greens are the only party committed to abortion on demand. The others leave it to each MP to decide how to vote on abortion. Labor has members with differing views, as do the Liberals. Not the Greens. They have a party position spelt out in their platform.

It might be easier to die if the Greens have their way but they also want taxes levied on the estate of people who have died. Any other party that proposed to liberalise death laws and tax the dead would be accused of a revenue grab. But not the Greens.

They do not particularly target taxes at the dead; they target the living as well, with proposals for tax rises in superannuation, capital gains, car use, electricity prices and companies. Bob Brown could have campaigned as the head of the tax party, because that also is the effect of his policies.

Labor can govern only with the support of Adam Bandt, the newly elected Green in the seat of Melbourne. The Greens will have the balance of power in the new Senate. Now that they exercise such power they are entitled to more scrutiny.

Imagine taking a journey from the GPO to the state border. The Green vote is highest where you start - in the inner-city terraces and converted warehouses. In the seat of Melbourne, the Greens polled 36 per cent and in the seat of Sydney 24 per cent.

As you move out to the quarter-acre blocks in the suburbs, the Green vote declines. When you get to semi-rural and country areas it falls further. In Gippsland in Victoria it is 7 per cent and in Parkes in NSW 6 per cent.

As you take that journey, you will notice that families live in the suburbs where it is cheaper to buy a house with a garden for the children. They do not see their children as a threat to ecological sustainability but as their greatest contribution to society.

If you travelled on a Sunday you would notice, as you moved out from the inner city to the outer suburbs, that the church services attract bigger crowds. Conventional religious belief is stronger. This explains why these electorates do not warm to the Green agenda of euthanasia, abortion, gay marriage and adoption.

The fascinating thing about Green supporters is that their natural habitat is not the open spaces or the pristine forests but the crowded cafes and asphalt alleys of high-density, inner-city living.

Of course the inner-city areas were the traditional fiefdom of the political left. They still are. But the political left has found that marketing itself under the label "Green" has much better appeal, which is how Lee Rhiannon was elected as a senator for NSW.

She grew up as part of Sydney's first family of communism and followed her parents into the party. Her chances of being elected as a communist senator were zero but she has done well under the Greens banner.

Adam Bandt was an undergraduate and postgraduate scholar of Marxism. In another age he would have journeyed through the union movement to a Labor pre-selection. Now these activists turn "Green" and they are taking the inner cities with them.

But they are also taking a lot of support from people who think that Green is a description of environmental policies. It is much more than that. It is a clever marketing label. Beyond the label is a fully formed agenda of radical positions on tax, economics and foreign affairs. It pays to look carefully before buying the product.

Peter Costello is a former Liberal federal treasurer.

http://www.smh.com.au/opinion/politics/read-the-fine-print-on-the-greens-tin-20100928-15vp0.html

Ugly feud fought on Facebook

Janet Fife-Yeomans — Sat, 23 Oct 2010 22:36:51 +1100

A MOTHER in the middle of a custody dispute has been caught boasting on her Facebook page how she thought about ripping her husband off for another $20,000.

"Felt like being a smart arse," she wrote, signing off "Bwahahaha lol."

Lawyers are now advising their clients locked in Family Court fights to take down their Facebook pages as the networking site has become both the latest weapon and target for warring spouses.

In one case a woman discovered her husband was a bigamist when she was tipped off to look at wedding photographs of him with another bride on the other woman's Facebook page.

In another case a husband discovered he had been set up by his wife with a woman he thought he met on an internet site. He discovered the woman was a "friend" on his wife's Facebook page.

"I tell my clients just don't bloody do it, don't be silly" family law expert Michael Taussig QC said.

The woman who boasted she had thought about dragging out the Family Court case to cost her ex-husband an extra $20,000 in legal bills found it backfired on her.

Justice James Barry granted custody of the two children, aged nine and eight, to their father with the mother getting visiting rights.

He then ordered the mother to pay $15,000 of her ex-husband's estimated $35,000 legal bill, saying the mother's behaviour had been the "stuff of nightmares".

She had already strung the case out by falsely claiming her ex-husband had been sexually assaulting their children after one judgment went against her. Then she falsely claimed the father's new wife had been assaulting them.

"The mother has over the years attempted to manipulate the court system," Justice Barry said.

UK woman found guilty of sexually abusing baby as boyfriend took pictures

Huw Borland — Thu, 21 Oct 2010 16:01:27 +1100

A UK community care worker has been found guilty of sexually assaulting a five-month-old baby while her boyfriend took pictures of the abuse.

Tracy Dawber, 44, let convicted paedophile Colin Blanchard take the photographs as she attacked the child on her sofa, Winchester Crown Court heard.

Dawber was convicted of the sexual assault and allowing indecent pictures to be taken at her home in Southport, Merseyside, in 2008, Sky News said.

The care worker, who dated Blanchard for about a year, had denied the charges - but he told the court she had taken the lead in the abuse.

Blanchard, 40, of Rochdale, Greater Manchester, previously admitted being involved in the assault, the jury was told.

He also confessed he had been involved with other women in a paedophile ring, including Vanessa George.

George was convicted at Bristol Crown Court, in 2009, of abusing children while working at a Plymouth nursery.

Justice Royce remanded Dawber in custody for pre-sentence reports before a date for sentencing is set.

Dawber is the fifth member of Blanchard's paedophile ring to face justice.

Woman charged with 10 child sex offences in Western Australia

Not Credited — Thu, 21 Oct 2010 15:56:49 +1100

A FEMALE worker at a West Australian school has been charged with 10 child sex offences, accused of committing sexual acts with two 15-year-old boys at a park.

Police say the 33-year-old woman is employed at a school in the Goldfields-Esperance District but is not a teacher.

She allegedly communicated with the boys through a social networking website and a mobile phone.

Police allege that on the evening of September 24 and morning of September 25 the woman met with the boys at a local park where the alleged incidents occurred.

Child Abuse Squad detectives have charged the woman with five counts of indecent dealings with a child over the age of 13 and under the age of 16.

She has also been charged with four counts of sexually penetrating a child over the age of 13 and under the age of 16, and one count of encouraging a child over the age of 13 and under the age of 16 to engage in sexual behaviour.

The woman is due to appear in the Kalgoorlie Magistrates Court on October 28.

Read more: http://www.news.com.au/breaking-news/woman-charged-with-10-child-sex-offences-in-western-australia/story-e6frfku0-1225941359529#ixzz12xxwaRDj

Kristy Fraser-Kirk reneges on her vow to donate to Charity in $37 million sexual harassment lawsuit

Jane Lee and Edmund Tadros — Mon, 18 Oct 2010 20:02:16 +1100

KRISTY Fraser-Kirk says it is "no longer possible" to give any of her $850,000 settlement money over to charity, despite promising to do so when she launched the country's biggest ever sexual harassment lawsuit.

This morning, all key parties in the case confirmed that a settlement has been reached in Ms Fraser-Kirk's $37 million lawsuit against David Jones, its ex-CEO Mark McInnes and nine directors of the retailer.

David Jones said they had settled the case with Ms Fraser-Kirk for $850,000, including a "smaller" contribution from Mr McInnes.

"David Jones Limited today announced that a settlement has been reached with Ms Kristy Fraser-Kirk in relation to proceedings in the Federal Court and her complaint in the Australian Human Rights Commission," the company said in a statement this morning.

"The settlement amount is $850,000 inclusive of all legal and other costs and expenses comprising a contribution from David Jones and a smaller contribution from Mark McInnes."

In August, the 27-year-old Ms Fraser-Kirk launched a $37 million lawsuit against Mr McInnes, David Jones and nine directors claiming the former CEO had sexually harassed her and that the retailer had done nothing about his alleged misconduct.

Ms Fraser-Kirk also launched a separate complaint at the Australian Human Rights Commission about the matter.

In a statement this morning, Ms Fraser-Kirk, thanked her supporters during what she called "a difficult journey".

“I could not have done this without the support and guidance from those in my life that matter most, to my partner, parents, family and friends, thank you and to my unwavering legal team, a special thanks.

"Also, to those members of the public who have supported me, thank you," she said in the statement.

"This has been a difficult journey but one that I felt was important.

"The case has led to real debate taking place which I am confident will lead to change. That is part of what the punitive damages claim was intended to achieve, and it has.

"I had asked the Court to award punitive damages, which was to go to charity, but as the Court will no longer be determining the case that’s no longer possible. I look forward, however, to participating in charitable work in the future.

"Thank you again for all your support. As the settlement is subject to confidentiality, I am not in a position to say any more."

Mr McInnes also released a statement denying the "vast majority" of the allegations made against him.

"I welcome today's settlement. It brings to an end a difficult time in many peoples' lives and hopefully it marks the moment that everyone can begin focusing on the future," he said in the statement.

"I have repeatedly said that the vast majority of the allegations are simply untrue and the nature of the court proceedings was an abuse of legal process.

"Personally I am looking forward to a new chapter in my family life and a resumption of my career in 2011. I would particularly like to thank my partner Lisa, my family and many friends for all their love and support.

"The settlement contains confidentiality obligations so I will not be making any further comment on these matters."

Media Frenzy

The case has led to a media frenzy with all sides trying to pursue their case in the public eye as much as in court.

In June, Ms Fraser-Kirk was revealed as the woman at the centre of a scandal that led to the resignation of David Jones' then-CEO Mr McInnes.

This was the first time that any Australian CEO had resigned over sexual harassment claim.

Two months later, Ms Fraser-Kirk filed her $37 million lawsuit against Mr McInnes and David Jones.

Ms Fraser-Kirk justified the size of the lawsuit by saying she would donate any punitive damages to a charity of her choice that helps people in the area of sexual harassment and bullying.

Ms Fraser-Kirk’s lawyer, Rachel Francois, told the court it was a "classic underdog" case of a young woman taking on a major corporation.

Ms Francois argued the media coverage became so intense after Ms Fraser-Kirk’s identity was revealed that she suffered ‘psychiatric harm’ and was forced to flee to the US.

Speculation over the unprecedented $37 million claim grew when it was revealed that Ms Fraser-Kirk’s lawyers had sent David Jones the bill for her New York trip.

The settlement was announced after the parties met at the Australian Human Rights Commission last week.

Mr McInnes has denied the "vast majority" of the allegations, while David Jones and its directors have denied all wrongdoing.

Shame list flagged for wife beaters

Liam Houlihan and Sue Hewitt — Sun, 17 Oct 2010 17:00:39 +1100

VICTORIA will push for federal laws to allow police across the country to track male domestic violence offenders (but not female).

The plan, to be considered at a meeting of the nation's attorneys-general in December, would help stop thugs who bash women going interstate and offending again.

"Victoria's domestic violence and sexual assault laws lead the nation and a national approach to intervention orders is an important next step," Government spokesman Stephen Moynihan said.

"A future Brumby Labor Government will work with the Commonwealth and other states to achieve this."

Thousands of offenders could be kept on a "shame list" as police and the courts struggle to cope with an increase in violent attacks on women by their partners.

Federal Attorney-General Robert McClelland is working with states and territories to establish a scheme for the automatic nationwide registration of domestic and family violence orders against thugs.

"The working group is examining a range of measures including establishing a database to assist police to enforce domestic violence orders across state and territory borders," a spokesman for the Attorney-General said.

"This would provide law enforcement authorities in the new state with information about a victim's past vulnerability."

Domestic violence victim Emily Twigg said the register would be a step forward for women.

"This will help protect women from the worst kind of repeat offenders," Ms Twigg said.

"It is only right that thugs who abuse women don't get a chance to reoffend just by changing states.

"I applaud those pushing these reforms to empower police to monitor violent offenders and protect the community."

Domestic violence expert Prof Cathy Humphreys welcomed the move and said it would attract widespread support.

But she did not support women having access to the register to assess potential partners because it would complicate the issue.

"We have to get all the states to agree and with the issue of privacy it would make the proposal too cumbersome - we have to take it one step at a time," she said.

Justice advocate Steve Medcraft said if authorities allowed the public to check the register it could save lives.

"Wife beaters don't have a certain look and if women could check out men, it could protect them," he said.

He called for the proposal to go further and record reports, as well as convictions, for domestic violence.

"Some women never press charges, but it doesn't mean there isn't any domestic violence," Mr Medcraft said.

"But if suspicions or reports of incidents were also recorded, police could establish a pattern of behaviour and if an emergency call comes in about a suspected offender, they will realise it could be a dangerous situation."

Crime Victims Support Association president Noel McNamara said the register meant that if the offender moved interstate local authorities would known they were a serial offender.

He wanted to beef up the proposal by making it compulsory for people on the register to notify police if they dramatically changed their appearance or moved states.

The Victorian Centres Against Sexual Assault Forum convenor Carolyn Worth said that presently if an offender with an intervention order crossed borders, local police were unaware of the court order.

She did not support calls for the register to be public because it created a "lynch mentality" and offenders could change their behaviour.

With Laura Speranza

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/victoria/shame-list-flagged-for-wife-beaters/story-e6frf7kx-1225939671225

Former husband must pay for wife’s career change

Kim Arlington — Sat, 16 Oct 2010 20:24:04 +1100

HER former husband thought she was perfectly capable of supporting herself as a legal secretary or personal assistant after their marriage broke down.

But having emerged from the ''long, expensive and fraught litigation'' that followed their separation, the woman wanted nothing more to do with lawyers or the law - and the Family Court has ordered her former husband pay her $1000 a week while she retrains for another career.

The order came as Justice Stuart Fowler determined a property settlement for the Sydney pair who, for legal reasons, cannot be named.

As a high-earning professional, the husband took home almost $2 million, including a six-figure bonus, in the last financial year. After their split he moved out of the $2.7 million matrimonial home and into another property worth more than $1.1 million, which he bought without his wife's knowledge before their separation. It was intended as an investment property if the marriage lasted; instead, he lived there with his children as their primary carer.

His former wife hoped to earn up to $50,000 annually working in community services and wanted him to support her financially for two years while she obtained her qualifications.

He objected, arguing that she was employable and could return to her former career as a legal secretary or personal assistant, earning up to $75,000 annually. Her choice of occupation was effectively ''a luxury she cannot afford and which would be at his cost'', he said.
But Justice Fowler noted that the woman ''says she has had enough of the law and lawyers for the time being''.

She told the court the distress of the marriage breakdown and subsequent litigation have made her averse to ''having anything further to do with employment in the legal profession''.

More than two years after the couple separated, after costly proceedings in the Family Court, a judge made parenting orders for the care of their children.

''Given the history of this matter and its attendant costs, one can understand from her point of view that she would wish to distance herself from that profession,'' Justice Fowler said.

Her decision not to pursue her former career was not unreasonable, he said, and he ordered the husband to pay her $1000 a week for two years while she retrained.

http://www.smh.com.au/nsw/former-husband-must-pay-for-wifes-career-change-20101015-16nmk.html

David Jones sexual harassment case settled - Kristy’s smile is worth $850K

Tim Vollmer — Sat, 16 Oct 2010 18:24:57 +1100

KRISTY Fraser-Kirk has plenty of reasons to smile after reaching a settlement thought to be $850,000 with retail giant David Jones.

The breakthrough agreement, while not finalised, involving the substantial payout ends Australia's largest sexual harassment case.

The 27-year-old, who launched a $37 million lawsuit alleging former CEO Mark McInnes sexually harassed her, emerged smiling with her partner and family while lawyers for both sides remained to negotiate the fine print of the final agreement.

Sources close to the negotiations laughed at reports of an $8 million figure and said it was closer to the $850,000 the retail giant had offered before the suit was lodged.

Discussions began Friday morning with four hours of conciliation in the Human Rights Commission, where Ms Fraser-Kirk and Mr McInnes came face-to-face for the first time since the explosive allegations were made.

When she finally left the tense negotiations, which had continued all afternoon and into the evening, Ms Fraser-Kirk refused to comment.

Her parents Alex and Sally followed behind. Her mother said she was "very proud, very proud". Her father said he was "relieved and proud."

Earlier, Ms Fraser-Kirk had tears in her eyes as she held her partner and mother tightly while walking out of the Commission.

Mr McInnes was also feeling the pressure of the case, which cost him his position with David Jones.

Tugging on his tie and wearing his best boardroom poker face, he left by the back entrance of the building on Castlereagh St minutes before the publicist.

Most of the detail of the settlement, including the payout amount, remain confidential, but Ms Fraser-Kirk is expected to make a public statement.

She had launched the case against the retailer, nine of its directors and Mr McInnes.

Her lawyers also claim to have obtained statements from seven women - five of whom allege they were harassed by Mr McInnes while working with him at DJs and others during other previous employment.

Mr McInnes and David Jones denied the allegations.

http://www.couriermail.com.au/entertainment/confidential/david-jones-sexual-harassment-case-settled-kristys-smile-is-worth-850k/story-e6freq7o-1225939407043

Retirement home worker female charged with sexual assault of elderly man

Not Credited — Fri, 15 Oct 2010 21:55:04 +1100

A woman will face court over allegations she sexually assaulted an elderly man in a retirement home in inner Sydney.

The 53-year-old Lidcombe woman, who is an employee at the facility in Albion Street at Surry Hills, sexually assaulted the man at the centre on October 1, police say.

The woman has been charged with two counts of aggravated sexual assault, three counts of aggravated indecent assault, assault occasioning actual bodily harm and three counts of common assault.

The woman was given conditional bail and will appear in Burwood Local Court on November 9.

http://www.smh.com.au/nsw/retirement-home-worker-charged-with-sexual-assault-of-elderly-man-20101015-16m5a.html

De facto wife guilty of murdering doctor

Not Credited — Fri, 15 Oct 2010 21:50:44 +1100

A HOBART woman has been found guilty of murdering her medical specialist partner Bob Chappell.

Mr Chappell, 65, a radiation physicist at the Royal Hobart Hospital, was last seen alive on his yacht Four Winds on January 26, 2009.

Susan Neill-Fraser, his 56-year-old de facto wife, pleaded not guilty to his murder.

A Tasmanian Supreme Court jury of five men and seven women today found her guilty of murder after about 18 hours of deliberation.
The jury began deliberating yesterday, about 2.30pm and retired about 9pm last night.

After remaining in lock up at a hotel overnight the jury resumed deliberations at 9am this morning.

Politically Correct Schools are sole Judge & Jury against young boys

Sys Admin — Thu, 14 Oct 2010 19:03:32 +1100

THE parents of three Year 8 boys are preparing to sue the Sydney Catholic school that expelled their sons for the alleged indecent assault of a 13-year-old classmate.

The two 13-year-old and one 14-year-old boys, who cannot be named for legal reasons, were expelled for touching the girl at the top of her fully-clothed breast in an English class in May. The girl did not complain about the incident until three months later, in August.

The boys admitted the incident but said it was consensual.

Police were not involved.

The boys have maintained all through the investigative process that this was consensual activity with no skin contact, and they were sorry for their actions, the mother of the 14-year-old boy said yesterday.

The accuser has never been held accountable for the havoc she has wreaked and the boys have had their reputations shredded.

The school did not return calls yesterday.

Another girl has since come forward to claim she was also touched on the breast by the three boys during the same English class.

In the wake of the boys' expulsion, the mother said the entire Year 8 staged a sit-down protest in the schoolyard.

The angry parents of the boys, including one father who is a barrister, have exhausted appeals to the school and the Catholic Education Office to have the boys reinstated.

An investigation by an independent barrister also failed to resolve the issue. So the parents have resolved to take legal action in an attempt to restore their children's reputations.

The mother said her son had been off school for eight weeks and was rejected by the local public high school because the allegations against him were of a sexual nature.

The rumour and innuendo that has spread through the community has cast doubt on the boys' reputations with principals from other schools.

But in a meeting yesterday afternoon with a NSW Department of Education and Training regional director, her son was accepted for enrolment at the public school next week.

He has been warned that you only have to touch a girl's head and she can have you on a sexual assault charge. It is a hands-off policy.

The mother said her son and his friends had never been in trouble before.

Penis burning wife found NOT GUILTY of husband’s murder

Sean Fewster — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 21:08:21 +1100

A DEVOTED wife who fatally set her husband alight while trying to burn his penis has been acquitted of murder.

After deliberating for nine hours over two days, a Supreme Court jury today found Rajini Narayan not guilty, by majority verdict, of murder.

They instead ruled her crime - throwing petrol and a lit candle onto the back of her husband, Satish - was manslaughter.

Narayan - who has long maintained she had no intention to kill Satish - showed little reaction to the verdict.

Her lawyers told the court she had offered, prior to trial, to plead guilty to manslaughter.

Satish died 20 days after his wife confronted him about the suspected affair in their Unley home in December 2008.

Prosecutors alleged Narayan threw petrol and a candle on her husband's back, setting him and the house alight.

They said she was motivated by the affair and two decades of beatings administered by Satish.

Giving evidence in her defence, Narayan denied those claims.

"I did not like to be beaten (but) I told myself I had to be better, I have to try harder," she said.

"I deserved it because, in my mind, I was not the perfect wife for my perfect husband... I idolised him, he was my hero.

"I did not speak back to him because you do not fight with your god."

Narayan compared her marriage to the Hindu religious tale of Lord Ram and Sita.

In the story, Sita is kidnapped by a demon king - after rescuing her, Lord Ram ensues her purity by having her walk through fire.

After a series of emails and letters convinced her Satish was having an affair, she decided to purify her husband with fire.

"A bizarre idea came to me... I would use a candle to burn the tip of his penis," she said.

"It would be like circumcision, or just like he placed that red dot on my forehead at our wedding.

"It was like I had all the powers of the goddess to save my husband, my lord... it did not occur to me that it was going to be dangerous."

She denied having any intent to hurt him, but said she "snapped" when he called her a "fat, dumb bitch".

"I felt everything drain out of me... the love, it wasn't there in that instant," she said.

Today, Justice John Sulan remanded Narayan on continuing bail for sentencing submissions next month.

As she left the dock, Narayan hugged her solicitor and her daughters - she declined to comment outside court.

Demolishing the myth of single mothers

Stephen Lunn — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 19:29:54 +1100

SINGLE mothers don't sit at home eating Tim Tams and watching daytime soaps until school pick-up while the money rolls in from their ex.

They are just as likely to be in paid work as separated mothers who receive no child support payments, a new study shows.

Drawing on responses from 1000 single mothers, an Australian Institute of Family Studies report to be released today finds receiving child support makes no difference to whether mothers work or not.

Only when they are receiving significant amounts of child support, in excess of $250 a fortnight, do their hours of work take a "modest" drop of about five or six hours a week.

Institute deputy director and report author Matthew Gray said: "The notion that if women receive child support they'll stay at home living off their ex-partner financially is not the reality.

"Whether women receive child support payments or not doesn't influence their decision to take a job outside the home."

The report uses data from the Longitudinal Study of Australian Children to conclude that single mothers want to stay connected to the workforce for a range of financial and social reasons, including uncertainty over whether their partner will pay the amount due on time.

They also worry that the partner's financial circumstances may change, and know that when the children are about 18, the payments will stop.

"There were social reasons as well, in terms of their wellbeing, such as staying connected, and being a good role model for their children," Dr Gray said.

Single mothers in Australia had high levels of employment compared with those in other countries, he said.

Crisis Support Services - are you a Male in Distress - JIGSAW may help you find Help

MensLine — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 19:30:54 +1100

Crisis Support Services (CSS) provides a range of telephone counselling services around Australia, including MensLine Australia, SuicideLine (Vic), the national Suicide Call Back Service and the beyondblue Info line. Our telephone counsellors regularly refer callers to a wide range of community services. JIGSAW is the primary referral source used by our counsellors. It is also provided freely to all visitors to CSS's websites. It is the only Australia-wide database of its kind that offers a geographical search facility with Google Maps integration.

The database specialises in the areas of mental health and well-being, family and relationships, suicide prevention, and men's issues, corresponding to the primary focuses of our services. However it also includes major service providers in such areas as accommodation, disability, drug and alcohol, and multicultural services.

For further information contact CSD_Admin@crisissupport.org.au

http://www.crisissupport.org.au/jigsaw/?referrer=MLA

http://www.crisissupport.org.au/jigsaw/?referrer=MLA

Mens Helpline - here to help Men in Need

Mens Helpline — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 19:23:35 +1100

Mens Helpline

MensLine Australia responds to its callers' needs in a variety of ways:

Standard Call – an immediate, single-session discussion and support
Call Back Support Service – short to medium term follow-up coaching and support, initiated by the service to the caller after the initial contact call
Peer Education Telegroups – small groups of men from anywhere in the country engaged in a facilitated discussion on a relevant topic using tele-conferencing technology.
Assisted Referrals – Referring services or agencies who have established protocols with MensLine Australia can assist their clients to link directly with the MensLine service via a real-time warm-link transfer or email.
Dedicated Industry Lines – MensLine Australia can provide customised telephone counselling services to support male employees.

1300 78 99 78 Available 24/7

Contact Mens Helpline

Helpline	1300 78 99 78
Mailing Address	PO Box 2335 Footscray VIC 3011
Telephone (admin)	(03) 8371 2800
Fax	(03) 8371 2888
Email	talkitover@menslineaus.org.au

Frequently Asked Questions
The following are some of the questions our counsellors are frequently asked by callers. Please note that the responses to these questions are necessarily general and may not apply to your individual circumstances. Please call the helpline if you need further information.

Where can I get legal advice?

Community Legal Centres and legal help-lines offer free legal advice. Legal Aid in your state may also be able to offer free advice. Law associations can usually refer you to a solicitor in your area. Search our services directory for legal services close to where you live. The Family Relationships Advice Line (1800 050 321) also provides legal referrals Australia-wide.

My wife has said she is going to leave me. What do I need to know?

There are three important practical areas you need to consider if you are facing divorce: division of property, maintenance payments and residency of/contact with children. Hopefully you will be able to settle some or all of these matters without recourse to lawyers. This is clearly the preferred option as court proceedings may be lengthy and very expensive. They are also extremely stressful and can involve considerable hostility, which can have a very damaging effect on children caught in the cross-fire. However, even though court should be avoided if at all possible, it is wise to seek legal advice in order to get a clear understanding of your legal rights and responsibilities in the event that matters do have to go to formal proceedings. Note that from July 1st, 2007 it will be a legal requirement for separating couples to go through a mediation process prior to taking their case to court.

After separation, you may be required to pay child maintenance to your ex-wife to contribute to the cost of raising your children. The amount you will need to pay will depend on a range of factors including how many children you have and how old they are, your income, your wife's income, and the amount of time you spend looking after your children each week. The formula is set by legislation. The Child Support Agency (CSA) is the government body responsible for making assessments and helping separated parents manage their financial responsibilities towards their children. In the event of separation, you will need to make contact with CSA to arrange an assessment. Note that separated parents can also make a private maintenance arrangement without going through CSA, if both parties agree.

Residency and contact arrangements for children are often the area that is most difficult for separated parents. A good idea is to prepare a parenting plan, which is a written, signed and dated agreement outlining care arrangements for your children. The main purpose is to specify who cares for which children and when, but it may also cover such areas as who pays for what expenses, as well as other matters such as choice of school, house rules and so on. A parenting plan is not legally enforceable (unless made before 14th January, 2004), although it can be converted into an enforceable 'consent order' if both parties agree. Mediation can help this process if parents are having trouble agreeing or even discussing arrangements. Contact the Family Relationships Advice Line (1800 050 321), the Family Court of Australia or your local Family Relationships Centre to find out more about how to formalise a parenting plan.

Will I ever get over the pain of divorce?

Like any major loss, divorce brings with it a grieving process. How painful this experience is and how long it lasts can vary enormously. Even when a relationship has deteriorated to the point that both people feel quite certain of the need for a divorce, the pain of separation can still be very intense. There are many losses involved in a divorce, including children, identity, and emotional and financial security. Men can also grieve the loss of roles such as husband, partner or full-time dad.

In the throes of grief, it is easy to imagine that the pain will go on forever. However, with time the pain does diminish and eventually it becomes possible to move forward and put it in the past. Unfortunately it is not possible to say how long this will take. Grieving is a natural, human process for dealing with and coming to accept loss. Like the healing of the body, it occurs in its own time and cannot be hurried.

What is important is getting support to allow you to talk about what you are going through and to reduce the loneliness that many men feel during this time. This could be through seeing a face to face counsellor, attending a men's group, or participating in MensLine's callback counselling service. There are no short-cuts, but regular support can help you to reach the point sooner where you are able to say that your divorce is a part of your past, rather than your present.

My wife/partner and I have recently been fighting a lot. She has suggested counselling, but I'm not so sure about it. What should I do?

There are a number of common misconceptions that can make people reluctant to seek counselling for relationship difficulties. Some men fear that the counsellor will 'take sides,' especially if they feel that their partner is more able to express their feelings or to talk about the problems in the relationship. Counsellors are trained to remain neutral in their dealings with couples. If one partner is finding it more difficult to talk than the other, the counsellor will try to assist them to find ways to communicate better, and will not assume that their point of view is not important, or that they don't have one.

Good couples counsellors will not have a fixed idea about the goal of counselling. Their goal is to assist you as a couple to clarify your goals and feelings; it is not necessarily to 'keep you together' at all costs. If you are clear that you wish to stay together, they will try to help you to improve your relationship. If you decide that you need to separate, they will respect this choice and support you.

Another fear some men express is the perception that counselling services are run 'by women, for women.' Couples counselling is not gender-biased. Couples counsellors recognise that men often have different perspectives and priorities than their female partner, and will work even-handedly with both. There are also many male counsellors working in this field, although the gender of the counsellor is less important than their ability to listen to and understand both of your points of view.
If you are concerned about couples counselling, individual counselling may be an option, either as a first step or as an alternative to couples counselling. Individual counselling, although focussing on one person, can still help to improve a relationship if it helps you to learn better communication skills or to manage your own emotions better.

Sometimes people are put off counselling by stories they hear about other peoples' bad experiences. Although the great majority of counsellors are highly skilled, professional and well-trained, there is always the possibility of a particular counsellor not suiting you. It is important that you 'click' with your counsellor. If for whatever reason you feel that the counselling process is not working for you, and you have fed that back to the counsellor and nothing has changed, then you are entitled to look for another counsellor. By comparison, if a repairman did a bad job on your house, you would seek another tradesman. You wouldn't assume that the house can't be fixed.

Remember that relationship counselling is very unlikely to cause any harm to your relationship, and is far more likely to improve it. Most men who are initially anxious about the idea of counselling find it to be a positive and helpful experience once they give it a go. As an initial step, you may like to consider calling MensLine to get an idea about what counselling is like. For counselling services in your area, see our services directory.

My wife and I have recently had a baby. I work full time and I feel overwhelmed when my wife expects me to look after the baby after I get home from work. What should I do?

The key issue here is communication of expectations. When a couple have their first baby, they frequently don't know what to expect and may underestimate how demanding the care of an infant can be. It is important therefore to negotiate some ground rules that are acceptable to both parties. There are no 'right answers.' Each couple must work out their own rules. Looking after a baby is very tiring and it is understandable that your wife would feel the need for a break at the end of the day, just as you may after a long day at work. The fact that both of you are tired at the same time can lead to a conflict between your needs. The solution might involve setting aside some time for both of you to take a break (say, an hour for you and an hour for her), or alternating the days when each of you takes responsibility for caring for the baby after work. You might also discuss how paid, casual child care could help to lighten the burden.

Arguing about who works harder and is more deserving of a break is a 'blame game' that usually only leads to both of you feeling under-appreciated and misunderstood. Listen to each other's needs and try to approach the issue as cooperative partners rather than adversaries.

I suspect I may not be the father of my child. How can I find out?

The answer to this depends on whether or not the mother of your child agrees to provide a sample for DNA-testing. In most cases, the DNA of the mother, the child and the man is taken, although in exceptional circumstances a (less reliable) test can be done without the mother's DNA. In the event that the mother agrees to provide a sample, and gives permission for a sample to be taken from the child, there are a number of private companies that provide paternity-testing services (see our services directory)

You can choose to have a test that will be accepted as evidence of paternity in court, or an 'informal' test. Legally admissible tests cost more because the DNA samples must be collected by an independent agent and there are more rigorous procedures.
If the mother of your child is not willing to provide a sample, you may be able to obtain a court order through the Family Court. You will need to seek legal advice about the correct procedure to obtain this order. You may have to establish a case for why you believe you may not be the father.

I want to get more time with my children. What can I do?

Any move towards renegotiating the amount of contact you have with your children should begin with an informal approach to your ex-partner to discuss the issue and request the changed arrangements. In the event that she refuses your request, you can seek professional mediation. A mediator is a neutral third party who can sit with you both to try to help you to arrive at a mutually acceptable arrangement. You can find mediation services in your area by looking up our services directory. The final option if mediation fails is to seek an amendment of your contact/residency arrangements through the Family Court. Be aware that from July 31st, 2007 it will be a legal requirement that all parties go through a mediation process before bringing their case to the Family Court.

I am concerned that my ex-wife/partner is not looking after my children properly. What can I do?

The first step if you are concerned about the way your ex-wife or partner is looking after your children is to discuss the issue with her and tell her your concerns. Obviously this requires sensitivity. You are much more likely to get a satisfactory result if you approach her in a spirit of concern rather than blame. The following are some tips:

State your observations factually rather than emotively. Don't exaggerate, but just state what you have noticed that concerns you.
Avoid blaming language and generalisations ("You never…" "You're a bad mother/ a slob etc.")
Focus on solutions rather than problems.
Rather than looking for your ex-wife's or partner's faults, focus on what support she might need to care for the children better. Can you help in any way? Are there any community services that could assist?
Try to reach a plan together.
Agree to meet again to see how things are going and whether the plan is working.

Obviously, in many situations, such ideal communication will not be possible due to many factors, including all the 'baggage' of your past relationship together. If you are unable to make any progress on the issue together, you could suggest seeking the services of a mediator to help you reach an agreement on a way forward.
If you have serious concerns which you are unable to resolve, you might wish to approach a child abuse prevention organisation. These agencies are in most areas (look up 'Child Protection' in our services directory), and can look at developing a plan to support your ex-partner to provide better care for your children.
Finally, if you have grounds to believe that your children are at serious risk or are being harmed or neglected by their mother, you can formally notify Child Protective Services about the situation. This does not always mean that the children will be removed from their mother's care. This would only occur as a last resort, after other attempts to resolve the issue (through, for example, linking the mother with community support agencies) have failed.

Whenever I see my ex-wife/partner to pick up my kids, we end up having a fight, and I am concerned how this is affecting our children. How can I stop this?

Due to the ongoing anger and bitterness of some separations, picking up and dropping off children can sometimes be the point at which tensions flare up. Research shows that witnessing such disputes between parents can have a harmful effect on children. The first step if you wish to prevent this harm from occurring is to attempt to reach an agreement with your ex-wife/partner not to argue in front of your children. If there are issues that need to be discussed, agree to talk about them at some other time when the children are not present, for example on the telephone when the children are in their beds asleep. If this does not work, you could consider using a drop-off centre in your area. These centres allow parents to drop off their children for collection by the other parent at a safe place, so that the parents do not have to come into direct contact. These can be found under "Contact Centres" in our service directory.

My step-children won't accept discipline from me. What can I do?

Parenting in step-families is complex, far more complex than in non-step families. Step-children frequently resent the fact that a stranger they have not chosen is entering their lives and presuming (in their minds) to assume the role of parent. They may – unfairly – blame the step-father for the loss of their relationship with their biological father. Furthermore there is no particular reason why step-parents and step-children should or will like, let alone love, one another. The absence of an affectionate or at least respectful relationship between step-parents and children can make discipline very difficult.
For you as a step-father, there are other issues. Many step-fathers are fearful of permanently losing their relationship with their step-child if they are too strict. This is rarely an issue between parents and their biological or adopted children, where the underlying strength of the bond is usually taken for granted. This anxiety can make them unsure about how strict to be. Children can sometimes pick up on this and exploit it.
All these factors can make you uncertain of your role in relation to step-children. Usually a heavy-handed approach backfires. Young children may submit to discipline from an authoritarian step-parent, but they will resent it and the control is likely to break down as they grow older. It is generally a mistake to try to discipline step-children too early. Discipline cannot truly be enforced without some foundation of trust and mutual respect.
Here are a few tips for helping to be more effective in disciplining your step-children:
1. Negotiate rules with your partner in advance so you aren't sending mixed messages. Different ideas about the step-father's role in disciplining children are a frequent cause of relationship friction in step-families.
2. Avoid loud, blaming or abusive words (e.g. 'Are you stupid?' 'You are very bad!' etc.). Talk in a firm, clear manner without using put-downs.
3. Have clear rules and try to get your step-children to agree on thesebefore you try to enforce them.
4. Explain the reason for rules, don't just say, 'Because I say so!'
5. Fit the consequence to the offence. Over-the-top punishments only create resentment.
6. Avoid getting into power struggles. Pick your battles carefully.
7. Explain that you can never replace your step-children's biological father and will never try to.
8. Accept that you will make mistakes and sometimes be unfair. Just do your best!
See the step-families links on our links page for more information about how to manage the complexities of step-parenting.

My teenage child is out of control. What should I do?

Parenting teenagers is a big challenge. The teenage years are a time in which young people experiment with their identities and challenge parental authority in preparation for establishing themselves as independent adults. Although uncomfortable for parents, the rebellion of adolescence is an absolutely necessary and important developmental stage.
However, this does not mean that teenagers do not need limits. Although they may complain about the boundaries placed around their behaviour, adolescents feel more secure if they know what the rules are. It is important to have firm guidelines about what your teenage child is and is not allowed to do, what time they should be home by, and so on.
On the other hand, research has shown that an authoritarian approach – the iron fist – usually backfires. If a young person feels that their parent is unreasonably harsh and does not respect their judgement or trust them, then they can react by rejecting the parent's control altogether.
Here are some simple tips for effective parenting of teenage children:

Be aware of the fact that your child is growing and changing and adapt rules to suit their level of maturity and judgment. Loosening controls may feel scary at times, and their may be times when your child makes a mistake, but in doing so they will learn.
Try 'active listening' with your child. Active listening means listening without judgements, reactions or attempts to 'fix'. Listen and try to understand the world your child lives in, and their experience and perspective.
Admit your mistakes and be prepared to compromise.
Don't expect hard and fast rules about things like sex, alcohol and drugs to deal with these complex challenges. Talk honestly about these subjects and help your child to understand the risks so that they can make mature decisions when confronted by situations.
Remember what you got up to when you were an adolescent. It may help you to keep perspective!
Admitting to your child that you have never parented a teenager before and therefore may need some help from them could establish a collaborative relationship with your teenager and demonstrate that you trust and value their input.

http://www.menslineaus.org.au