Article published April 25, 2010: APRIL is Child Abuse Prevention Month. As we mourn all children who have died from abuse and neglect, I want to draw attention to a particular aspect of child abuse that has had deadly consequences, in our community and nationwide.

In Lucas County between 2001 and 2008, about one-third of the 31 abuse-related child deaths were caused by the mother's boyfriend. Last year was the first in recent memory in which our county did not have a young child die from abuse by Mom's boyfriend.

Any baby or toddler left in the care of someone who is not accustomed to dealing with a young child is at risk. Such people may shake a crying baby or hit a toddler who has had an accident or made a mess, out of frustration or not knowing how to respond properly.

A study published in the journal Pediatrics reported that children living with adults who aren't related to them face a much higher risk than other children of dying from an inflicted injury. Having an unrelated adult - usually a man - living in the house leads to the increased risk of fatal abuse or neglect, not single parenthood itself.

Federal studies back this up. They show that as many as half of American children who died from abuse in 2006 did so at the hand of the male partner of their single mother.

In response to this problem, Lucas County Children Services has launched a campaign called "Choose Your Partner Carefully." We want to help mothers think twice before they assume their boyfriends can care for their children.

We also want to make our community aware of the potential risk that untrained caregivers pose to every child. If this campaign can keep even one child from being hurt or killed, it will be a success.

There are easily identifiable clues that should make mothers cautious about leaving their child with their boyfriend or partner. They include:

•Being angry or impatient when your child cries or has a tantrum.
•Calling your child bad names or ridiculing him or her.
•Thinking it is funny to scare your child.
•Stopping you from bringing your child to his family's events.
•Making all the decisions for you and your child.
•Telling you that you are a bad parent or that you should not have your children.
•Pretending that when he hurts your child, you're to blame or it's no big deal.
•Menacing your child with guns, knives, or other weapons.
•Telling you that your child is a nuisance.

A mother who observes such behavior in her partner - even once - may be putting her child at risk. Never leave your child with anyone you wouldn't trust with his or her life.

Before you leave your child in your partner's care, watch how they act together. Make sure your child is comfortable and the relationship is appropriate.

If you have to, choose your child's safety over your partner. Don't make a decision that you could regret for the rest of your life.

Our community needs to act by helping young mothers make good decisions about the men they spend time with. We also must help young men be good fathers and father figures, regardless of their relationship with the young children in their care.

Dean Sparks is executive director of Lucas County Children Services. The agency will hold its annual Child Memorial at 11:30 a.m. April 30 at One Government Center. The event is open to the public.

http://toledoblade.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20100425/OPINION04/4250301

Comments (0)