Fathers4Equality Blog - Father Matters, child custody, fathers rights, shared parenting, divorce | Comments

biased reporting.

dave aldridge — Wed, 1 Sep 2010 11:26:38 AM +1100

Didn't take em long to close the comments on this article. Maybe they didn't like the comments they received. Wonder why that would be.???.

Re: Interesting

Ash Patil — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 08:02:07 PM +1100

>> which seems to have been applied by the legal system >>as a default 50/50 assumption) for high-conflict >>couples.

These kind of statements clearly show that Adele Horin knows very little about the Shared Parental Responsibility amendments to the family law act.

The law does not (and has never) postulated a 50/50 assumption, and that is even more the case in high conflict ex-couples. Anyone who has bothered to sit through case after case in the family court would know that there is NO assumption of 50:50 and NO assumption of shared care.

There is however a checklist of measures that a couple must "pass" to even be considered for equal care or shared care, and even if these measures are passed, then a judge or magistrate can still refuse shared care if he/she believes its not in he best interests of the child.

The research referred to from McIntosh is highly questionable, for one because the researcher is a lobbyist against the shared parenting laws, but secondly because her preliminary findings raise serious questions as to the methodologies she used.

For instance, she only compared stress levels of children from recently separated couples with those of children in in-tact families.

Her conclusion was that children of separated families experienced more stress within 3 months after separation, and she concluded that this was because they were in shared care.

This is quite a remarkable assumption to make, and the apparent stress is more logically attributable to the fact that there was a recent break-up in the family.

Serious questions have to be asked why this research did not include children that were put in single parent arrangements as a result of marriage breakdown. Is McIntosh trying to hide something by manipulating the sample group?

Secondly, her conclusion, if applied, would result in a bizarre situation where mothers will be leaving children in long day day care, but not with their fathers.

Thirdly, if you look at how McIntosh defines "high-conflict", it leaves a lot to be desired. My guess is that she conveniently ruled out couples where the children were flourishing, despite initial conflict, because it didn't suite her conclusion. So she was able to get whatever results she wanted in the end, because she chose only the couples that 'fitted' her pre-determined conclusion.

who’s for two up?

father joe — Sun, 29 Aug 2010 04:52:58 PM +1100

I'm from a high conflict custody case which was ONLY stamped by a Federal Magistrate- i.e. he didn't have to deliberate on our circumstances because,

I agreed (pre-court)to a near 50% shared care arrangement to STOP THE NONSENSE- false child sexual abuse and spousal abuse allegations that were proven false by the children, child welfare and family history.

My ex-wife probably agreed to shared parenting as a 'get out of jail' measure and after we had both spent over $50k in legal fees in eight months.(I couldn't avoid the expense as my kids were taken away from me and both were loudly protesting for 'time with their dad')

My barrister also told me that a (est.)extra $30k+ 'Residency' trial could also still go against me- i.e. there were no guarantees that perjury and false testimony from the 'other' side would be exposed and or punished...a poor indictment on Family Law in this society.

In summary..I'm not a great gambler and I didn't want to gamble with my kids' wishes..which was equal time with both parents and I also wasn't going to risk any potential holiday and education money for a result of every second weekend with my kids.

In the case of school age children and in the absence of a 'court judgement' it is ultimately up to the children to judge the situation in the end.

interesting

muser — Sun, 29 Aug 2010 11:59:23 AM +1100

What on earth is a 'last Bastille'? I think you mean 'bastion'.

The article is not an indictment of fathers. It raises questions about the efficacy and suitability of the Howard government's shared parenting model (which seems to have been applied by the legal system as a default 50/50 assumption) for high-conflict couples.

What she is saying is there has been, and is soon to be, published government-commissioned research into shared parenting which suggests it is detrimental for young children of high-conflict couples in particular. She is also postulating that it is the application of the law that is problematic, rather than the concept of shared parenting across the board.

Adele Horin

Jackson Ley — Sun, 29 Aug 2010 11:28:24 AM +1100

I have heard a rumour that she is divorced and dictates when her ex can and cannot see the kids.

Like many of these journalists, this is more about their need to control their ex than it is about any fair assessment of a law.

shared care up from 4 to 33%?

Philad — Sun, 29 Aug 2010 10:05:10 AM +1100

Wow,

No wonder this lady is labeled bias!

The 4 to 33% must have made her want to go out and slit her wrists - seriously, I have been trying to read her articles with an open mind for some research I am doing on a book but the reality seems to be the opposite.

Seems to me she sees herself as the last Bastille between children and men. I have news for her, female (obviously the dominant sex in custodial parenting) spite and hate does as much if not more damage to single parent children evolving into adults than any shared parenting opportunities. Trouble is I cant see her being interests in "news".

Gender Equality

hemen parekh — Fri, 27 Aug 2010 03:38:46 PM +1100

Gender Equality : Reality or Mirage ?

A salary survey conducted in Aug.2010, by Chartered Management Institute ( Britain ) of 43,312 employees in 197 organizations found :

 Average salary for a male manager stood at British Pound 10,071 more than that of a female boss

 At the current rate of wage inflation, it will take some 57 years before this inequality is bridged.

What would Chartered Management Institute find if it were to conduct a “ Job Performance Survey “ of male and female bosses ?

With regards

hemen parekh

Jobs for All = Peace on Earth

www.CustomizeResume.com

BLOG COMMENT

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ed hardy

ed hardy — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 06:21:04 PM +1100

And no, I am not suggesting you do anything to win more sexual favours. Sex is only a small part of a marriage, but if it is missing, then it can be a huge problem. Something that women { Link } like to always push back on men. This shows their immaturity and disrespect for the men they are supposed to love.

ed hardy clothes

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seek Counsel

zac — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 11:36:34 AM +1100

Good news I believe...the President elect of the Victorian Law Institute is the experienced Family Lawyer Caroline Counsel..She was on my shopping list 4 years ago before I flipped a coin and chose another experienced lawyer,Ian Kennedy AM, to represent me.

Caroline Counsel spoke impressively on ABC Melbourne Radio this week when she appealed to Family Law combatants NOT to be the parent to allege FALSE child sex abuse to gain advantage but to leave that (rare truth)to doctors and teachers etc...Simple,sobering, timely and brilliant advice.

This may be a very progressive term of leadership at the Law Institute if Ms.Counsel is to continue with this 'common sense' approach to the law.

Good luck to her and anyone who follows these principals.

reply to Kelly-anne

Helen — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 01:20:00 AM +1100

Yes, Kelly, you are completely wrong. Of course there is also abuse by some mothers, but usually is the other way around, and usually is easier to pick on women than to pick on men. For many fathers equality does not mean changing roles in society and the family for everyone to have an equally important imput, it just means that if things are their way is right, and their rights by nature (they have not put into question what that means) are taken into account, and if not, the woman is a bitch that is trying to prevent him to use his rights and so on. Laws are still patricarchal and real equality would be based in questioning pre-conceived assumptions.

Untitled

dave aldridge — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 06:34:12 PM +1100

Spot on Paw. In the 5 years i lived with my daughters mother i did ALL the outside work [gardening,lawns, servicing the car,painting,cleaning gutters etc etc etc] not once did she offer to help. I also changed many nappies. It was i who toilet trained our daughter, it was i who fed her so many bottles and taught her to feed herself, it was i who would sit with her at night and read her a bedtime story. I did all this AND held down a full time job, yet when we split up it was she who was seen as the primary caregiver and got custody. Go figure. Then followed 3 years of abuse and neglect for my daughter and 3 years of battling in the court for me, to rescue her. After 3 years i had nothing left, nothing left inside to fight with and only a huge pile of debt. Late one cold and rainy night i was writing a letter to Families SA begging them not to take my daughter off their action list. Halfway through the letter i just stopped and prayed, something i had not done for 30 years, [ i am not a churchgoer or religious nut, just some one who had a decent christian upbringing]. I prayed that if there was a god up there he might do something as my daughters life was being destroyed. Then the strangest thing happened. I had no sooner put pen back to paper to finish my letter when there was a knock at my door. When i answered it there was my little daughter standing in the rain saying"dad, mums left me on my own again, please do something",[as if i hadn't been trying for 3 years]. Was it an act of god ?. Perhaps.Don't really know. All i know is that when my daughter came to me in her hour of need, i was there for her. I feel sure that all the work i did with her all those years ago stood me in very good stead as she loved and trusted me. 5 days later i was granted full custody, but only because my daughter SHAMED them into doing something. She was in an awful state when she came into my care at 8yo, but is now 20 yo and doing a university degree. Yeah i feel a bit like the king of the world now and i make no apologies for feeling that way. As you say "nothing else matters".

’make up’ can smell

zac — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 02:28:00 PM +1100

This opens up old wounds for me. My ex used two police stations and two squads (SOCAU and Prosecutions)to make my life hell whilst claiming FALSELY claming 'abused spouse' syndrome in a Family Law custody fight.

With brilliant and simple support I stayed calm in the face of perjury and malicious lies (including child sexual abuse) and I easily defeated multiple police assisted Intervention Order applications and police (child) welfare visits instigated by the wife.

The wife even fed one, very large, policeman a roast meal at her home whilst he discussed arresting me in a phonecall to his boss. (at the lunch table in front of my children)One of my kids had bruised wrists from sibling wrestling coupled with budesonide ingestion.(asthma medication)

As my ex is a daughter of a former senior policeman, I wrote an elongated statement and complaint to my District Police Superintendent after making a call to 'Ethical Standards' NO APPOLGIES NO FURTHER ACTION!

New Dads of Today.

Paw — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 10:27:40 AM +1100

I keep hearing in these articles that Dads are finally beginning to become better dads. I find this to be an insult on the men/fathers of yester-year who fought and died for our countries, who died in work place accidents, who died protecting their children and their allegedly poorly treated wives.

Just because a father didn't change nappies, or do housework on top of his weeks hard work, he was considered to be lazy and indifferent to his children, and he was abusive to his wife. This is typical Feminist speak that has flooded our society and has made our women believe they are more entitled than men, and has told them that men abuse them all the time, when they have never been abused at all.

Yes there were fathers out there who should have never had children, or even been married for that matter.

However, there are just as many women out there who should have never married and who are not a mothers boot lace.

We need to stop celebrating this 'FORCED' evolution of real men and fathers, into 'Girlie Mans', as Arnie calls it.

Yes I am a man/father who contibuted to all the inside and outside housework, only to be used and abused by the lazy women I was married to.

Of all the men I have ever met who actually contribute to work within the home, I have not yet heard of, or met one single man who has told me that it has made their marriage and family life any better.

In fact, every single one of them has told me that they have been used up by their wives and that promises of extra favours were never realised.

So chaps, if you are considering in changing yourself into some sort of slave for your wife in the hope of a better sexlife. Forget about it, because it will never happen!

My advice to every father out there, is to forget all about doing the hard yards for the wife. You need to bond closely with your children from the day they are born. Yes you will end up changing nappies and doing some things extra in the house to help with the children, but remember, your kids will love you all the more for it, even if your wife will only want to use you up, like most women do. Forget about her reactions, and only concentrate on being a great Dad.

If your wife is a mature enough woman and behaves appropriately and appreciatively, then you are a very lucky man to have married one of the very few that exist.

And no, I am not suggesting you do anything to win more sexual favours. Sex is only a small part of a marriage, but if it is missing, then it can be a huge problem. Something that women like to always push back on men. This shows their immaturity and disrespect for the men they are supposed to love.

It's time men started to be strong again and started demanding respect from women in society today.

One of the best ways of having that credibility, is to become a GIANT in the eyes of your children. When you have their love, devotion and support, then you are the King of the world and nothing else matters!

Not all fathers are abusive

Phillip — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 09:00:34 AM +1100

Herold's point of view seems to infer that most men are abusive. What about the abusive mothers? It seems that in many cases women argue that keeping children with absuive and violent mothers is in the best interests of the child, which I think is not right.

And just how many of the "alleged" abusive fathes are really abusive? The current legel system worldwide fosters perjury by women. There is little requirement for them to tell the truth, and allegations they make are too often taken at face value.

Pen Pals

Dan Abshear — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 08:40:17 AM +1100

I'm suffering severe psychological trauma from what my now ex wife did to me here in the United States:

{ Link }

be a parent not a vigilante

Donald S — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 03:04:11 PM +1100

50 - 50

equal everything

its just not practical. Why is it that certain parents are more interested in possessing their children than knowing them?

Perhaps these parents should consider what is best for the children instead of themselves.

I recently read about a 5 year old child that witnessed his mother being abused by his father. The mother arranged counseling for the boy. The father applied to the court to "cease all and any therapeutic counseling due to the father's concerns of how the boy would view his father when he is older"

I ask how is it that a court, two family solicitors and an Independent Children's Laywer can sign away a child's rights? The child's mother and infant sister are being placed at risk because no one is allowed to explain to this boy that what he saw is wrong and that hurting women is wrong.

Parents should be made accountable for their own actions. If the father was so concerned about his reputation in his child's eyes then he should have behaved appropriately in the fist place.

Dragging the mother and children through the family courts in order to punish her for leaving an abusive relationship is unacceptable and shows the child that the father will just maintain control of the mother through the children and the family court system.

I ask all parents - is revenge more important than your children? Is it worth playing "head games" with not just your former partner but also your children?

be a parent not a vigilante

Donald S — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 02:04:55 PM +1100

childrenn’s rights

max — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 10:41:50 AM +1100

after reading the above comments I am concerned with the focus on fathers' rights - the children's rights should be the priority